Sunday, March 8, 2009

Landmarks

I included the Camus quote on this page because it explained my fear of losing days to obscurity. Although Camus was being poignant, and I have not had to suffer the tragedy of poverty he writes of in this book, my own memory seems to have been diluted by a lack of markers in years which passed, though happily, somewhat unremarkably. I guess I didn't pay attention. Those years of days of my children's childhoods passed in love and fun and appreciation for them, but I stayed home, did not travel much, went to the grocery store, did chores, played with three children, or did I just manage them? I think I was young, and as young people do, believed that that time would go on forever. Now that my children have begun to have their own children, they sometimes ask me things about their childhood. And, it is foggier than I want it to be. I want to have it back. I want to see it again. Did I need more markers? Or, should I have just paid more attention? I am 49. 49 years of life is within me. Do I have another 49? I look back (as we all do) and wonder where it went. I don't want to look back on THESE days and wonder where they went. I want to read the little details that are everything, see pictures of moments of daily life, the days in between the shining memorable moments of births, weddings, holidays, vacations - the landmarks. In between the landmarks is where we live. Unless of course we make a lot of landmarks!

1 comment:

  1. Your ''landmarks is a lovely post. I find that my memories vary with the kids' memories and those of my Beloved.
    Going back through old albums has a great effect on both nourishing the memory and the heart.
    Since I have been blogging I am experiencing more and more flashbacks, take this am for example, I had a post scheduled ready to publish and then I bumped into Rebecca Cool and it felt imperative that what arose out of that trigger was today's post. I am never short of ideas..things seem to flow one from another in this blogging river...

    Did you keep any journals or collections. They are another good source of memory markers. If not you could start to write now and see what comes up. Its never a linear chronological progression, rather an organic meandering that leads into wonderful meadows.
    Happy Days

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